The Ritual Master Do you remember the moment you realised the magic of reading ? What was the book that opened the gates ?
For the symbol of the 10th book I am presenting here, I chose to speak about the one novel, that made me fall in love with books.
I was a child who did not love children’s books or fairy tales. So every time I heard my parents rave about a new read, I was baffled, for it seemed to me a complete waste of time. Then, when I was about 13, and desperately wanted to be a grown-up, my mother found a brilliant ruse. She said “Here is a novel that you received as a present when you were a baby. It’s not for children, but I think you are old enough to understand it without getting confused. Try it for at least 50 pages before you say you don’t like it. At least, that’s how adults do it.” I opened the book, and on the first page, a hand-written note said “For when you’ll be older. Love, Uncle Gil. 1989.”
And that’s how it all began… with Mircea Eliade, and his Diary of a short-sighted adolescent. Romanul adolescentului miop.
The story in one phrase : The daily life and emotional turmoil of a 17 year old boy, fascinated by litterature and struggling with science, who starts to question the meaning of life in an attempt to better understand who he is. An autobiographic novel, written at the age of 18, and published in 1989, 3 years after Eliade’s death.
How does it make me feel : Today, as I re read it, it makes me feel a bit nostalgic, of the time I discovered it, of the moments I felt like he did. But when I first read it, I remember feeling understood, identifying with all the questions and dilemmas he was expressing, but also aspiring to be like him, to feed a curiosity that was awakening in me.
Top 3 details
Number one : how to become an intellectual. A word very often misunderstood, or even turned into moquery, the intellectual was and still is today, the pillar of progress, the person that by understanding the past and its effects in the present, can shape a better tomorrow. And how do you become an intellectual ? By reading. A young Mircea Eliade, trying to stay afloat in a multitude of subjects imposed in highschool, was torturing his already short-sighted eyes, with Honoré de Balzac and Giovanni Papini, studies of anthropology and philosophy, not to mention the study of foreign languages, french, english and italian, but also hebrew, persian and later on sanskrit. A thrist for knowledge, fascinating to read in a diary of a 17 year old boy.
Number two : the elegance of a generation. It’s not about misplaced nostalgia, but every Romanian knows that the short period of time between the two World Wars, was the height of Romanian Society. It shows in the subjects that young Eliade and his class mates discussed, in their conversational skills, it even shows in their fashion sense. A small detail that makes the scene so charming. For instance : This evening, Robert and Dinu came over to my house, and decided we should go for a walk in the Cismigiu Gardens. Robert was wearing white trousers and shoes with bows; Dinu’s jacket was unbuttoned: he had an antelope-skin belt and a silver cigarette case. Neither were wearing a cap or hat. I buttoned my tunic and we went out into the street. Robert sighed, Dinu offered me a cigarette. Robert sighs because he’s a genius. He told me one night that geniuses are unhappy. “Why ?”From the heights of his greater knowledge, Robert gave me a kind pat on the shoulder.”You simply wouldn’t understand…”
Number three : bringing back the art of journaling. You probably kept a diary when you were a child, and when you read it, years later, you found it ridiculous. At least, that’s what I thought, and if I’d have to guess, I’d say that Eliade had the same feeling. Maybe that’s why he never published this first novel while he was alive. But think of what it means for us today. For a young adult that can find solace in someone else’s heartbreaks or questionning, and maybe feel encouraged to put his own thoughts into writing. Just imagine how therapeutical it could be, in the age of bullying and of digital personas. So let’s make it trendy again, to buy a beautiful notebook and write down our life. At the end of the day, it might be more interesting than we thought…
Yin/Yang : A troubling balance of the two, I would say. For if there is a very lively energy of a teenager ready to conquer the world by day, there is also an introverted and pensive soul, searching to fully comprehend every single thought or feeling that comes along. As it should be, I suppose. The yang energy of the child that discovers the world, meets the yin composure of the adult to be. Fascinating…
Favourite Quote : Ar trebui ca la toamna sa incep sa studiez atent psihologia. Poate, daca m-as cunoaste, lucrurile s-ar petrece altfel. E foarte greu sa ma cunosc pe mine insumi. Nu ma pot analiza serios, pentru ca imi trec alte ganduri prin minte tocmai cand am nevoie de mai multa patrundere. Apoi, nu stiu de unde sa incep. E foarte usor sa spui “Cunoaste-te pe tine insuti!” Dar as vrea sa-l stiu pe acela care a priceput ceva cand a incercat sa se cunoasca pe sine. Eu nu pricep nimic. Nu pot distinge ceea ce e firesc in sufletul meu de ceea ce nu exista decat prin imaginatie. Nu ma recunosc in multe ganduri si nu pricep rostul multor sentimente. Nu pricep de ce sunt cateodata trist si de ce alta data imi place sa umplu cu fleacuri glumete si superficiale caietul acesta, care ar trebui sa fie intesat numai cu analize facute pe indelete si cu toata seriozitatea. Poate am sa pricep la toamna, cand voi studia psihologia.
This autumn, I’ll have to study psychology in earnest. If only I knew more about myself then maybe things would be different. Yet it’s so difficult to understand who I am. And I’m unable to analyse myself properly, because at the very moment when I need to look more deeply within me, my mind is suddenly filled with other things. Plus I don’t know where to begin. It’s easy to say “Above all, know yourself !” But I’d like to meet someone who has managed to discover anything while trying to do this. I can’t work it out. I can’t distinguish between what exists naturally in my soul and what only exists in my imagination. I don’t recognize myself in most of my thoughts, and can’t fathom out the meaning of many of my emotions. I can’t understand why sometimes I’m sad, and at other times I enjoy filling this notebook with common-place humour and trivia, when it should actually be overflowing with serious, in-depth analysis. But perhaps I’ll find it easier to understand in the autumn, when I start studying psychology.
Life Lesson : Ask the questions ! Keep searching for the answers. And never stop reading ! Now that I put it out there, I think I’ll go back to those children’s books, maybe I wasn’t supposed to read them as a child. Maybe my life lesson from The diary of a short-sighted adolescent is simply to read. Anything and everything. Then, at one point, the dots will connect themselves…
Why you should read it : To remember what it was like to have the time to ask yourself all these questions… To remember how you saw life at 17… To remember the excitement of finding the answers. To remember…
For my Romanian followers, I hope this has been a joyful reminder of your own experience of the book. For the international reader, that maybe knows Eliade for his history of religions, I hope you take this as an invitation to discover a more intimate and playful side of a very serious gentleman. I invite you to join the ritual in our next episode, it will make you travel in time…
Until then, enjoy your reading !
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